Pastors Suck Too!

I have just tried to go to bed, but I cannot. This whole situation has really made me sick. I must first say that I love Ted Haggard. He has had a profound impact on my life through his accomplishments and he is having a profound impact on my life in his failure. He and his family need Jesus to be extra tangible right now. New Life Church members need Him too.

With the cursory statements out of the way, Ted's actions really PISSED ME OFF!! Not just because he transgressed, but why couldn't it have been tax evasion or vehicular homicide? This case appears to be classic, but to the extreme. Granted we do not know everything, but it is clear something very sinister took place/has been taking place. So many of us looked up to him and wished to emulate his success and spirit in our lives and ministry. But why am I pissed off? Is it because I feel betrayed and lied to? He and I had no commitment to each other, he owed me nothing. I wasn't a member of his church, I just listened to his pod cast. His wife was with whom he broke trust wasn't. Does the revelation of his recent behavior really change anything...he was a sinner last week...he is a sinner this week. The main difference is that the world did not know...but didn't we know. The scriptures have very clearly said that "all have sinned/sin and fall short of God's glory."
Why do we expect our pastors to be sin free?
Would it have been different if he had been put in rehab for alcohol?
Would this news been more bearable?
What if he were arrested because of unpaid parking tickets?
Would our world really be rocked?
Does the revelation of his personal struggles nullify all that he has contributed to the kingdom of God?
Does this situation dampen his message and teaching?
Why do we expect so much from our leaders?
Why do we feel that they cannot sin?
Why does the world see Ted as a hypocrite?
Isn't he just as righteous today as he was 15 years ago?
Don't we all live a portion of our lives counterintuitive to our values?
Isn't there some disconnect between what we believe and confess and how we actually live?
Why are we shocked to learn that leaders do too?

Here is a great example from the Gospels that I believe is applicable here..."he without sin cast the first stone." I can already hear the protests, "that woman was not a pastor, she did not betray our trust!" Do we have the right to have a no-sin pact with our pastors? What sins are permissible for pastors to deal with? Greed? Lying? Being Overly Angry? Lust? Bitterness? Gossip? Covetousness? Speeding? Forsaking his kids for the ministry? Ignoring his wife? $200,000 of debt? Wrong Teaching?

Why is the church so concerned with sexual issues?
Is this the issue that is destroying our witness?

We members of Christ body have the problem. I recognize too well Ted's immediate denial when confronted with an character issue. I have done it many times. I have covered up sin. We all have and that is why it was recognizable to us when we saw him do it. We learned this habit from Adam and Eve. Why wont we allow our leaders to be human? I think many of them get caught up in expectations, real or perceived, that help to push areas of weakness into the dark corners of the heart. Ted said as much. How many pastors I wander enjoy a glass of wine with a meal or a beer with a football game in the privacy of their own home, but would never do that in public? We help pastor's learn to compartmentalize their lives: Their public persona and their private persona. Few of us live integrated lives. I wonder if Ted were to have stood up on church on Sunday 10 years ago and said "I struggle with homosexuality," how the church would have responded? Or even last weekend? That sin is too big to touch so lets shove it under the rug. Could New Life have been pastored by a man who is battling Homosexuality? Alcoholism? Greed? Workaholism? Why are some character flaw acceptable? We expect too much.

I think that I am from here on out just going to assume that every spiritually significant person in my life is unsuccessfully dealing with some major issue in their life. The scripture, statistics, and personal experience back me up. Why can't we just say "Hi my name is Josh and I am a proud, heterosexually lustful, greedy, lazy, selfish, insecure, untrusting, jaded, judgmental, naval gazing, big speaker-little doer that needs Jesus to come back real soon so that I can make it into heaven with out screwing everything up too much.!"

What about those Scriptures Rom 6:18? "We have been freed from sin and enslaved to righteousness." I have absolutely no idea! My experiences does not line up with being a slave to righteousness. For pastors I think that when we have unrealistic expectations we flush their dark issues out of the light. We generally want to please others and if we have a habitual sin character flaw, we try and hide it so that others will be impressed with us. Why are we not impressed in weakness? Paul said that in our weakness He is made strong. We ought to boast in our weakness and allow our leaders to boast in weakness. We all habitually sin! Not sinning is not the goal of our journey of faith. Knowledge of and union with Christ is the goal.

So what is the moral of this story? Don't expect too much from our leaders? Don't hold them to a higher standard? Don't have sex with a gay massage therapist and buy drugs from him while fighting against same sex marriage? Don't run with scissors? No these not the main lessons in my opinion. Ecclesiastes reads "do not be overly righteous," (7:16). As we allow ourselves and our leaders a little imperfection, we allow pressure to be relieved from our spiritual lives. I am not advocating sinning, but we ought to be real with ourselves and others about our capacity to sin. This keeps our spiritual ropes loose so that there is some give in the pressure moments. Without this give in the rope, any added pressure would create more tension and eventually the rope will snap. We all suck, including those that have been in the faith longer and apparently are more successful than we are. But still we all suck. God recognized our inability to score 100% on the moral test and for this reason sent Christ. Why is it okay for a Gay man to find Jesus and go straight. When this happens we rejoice, but if a straight man falls off and acts gay for a little while, he is a hypocrite. When after our salvation experience are we going to get it? When are all the pieces going to fall into place and we will be in actuality morally superior to those out side of faith? I guess this would depend on you theology of sanctification. The church in the States in my opinion is missing the boat. People are more concerned about changing the legal code in order for people's actions to appear moral. But we miss the point of the Gospel when we do this. Right action does not create right being. So gay people cannot get married, but does that do anything to change their heart situation toward God? We must be more concerned about people's insides than their outsides, people's being than their doing. This applies for both righteous and unrighteous acts.

WARNING: To those of you that might choose to use this experience of Ted to indulge in activities that are contrary to your new nature/values, do not be weak minded! Do not use this as an excuse to sin! That would cheapen your relationship with Christ and make Jesus one of your play toys. Stand strong and seek Jesus! If you need to talk about your weaknesses, talk to your parents, spouse, pastor, friend.or simply yell it from your car window while stuck in traffic. You are weak and only Jesus can truly help you.

Thanks for letting flesh out my thoughts and feelings on my site. I hope that I don't offend anyone...no actually I don't really care. I would however appreciate you imput into this discussiong. Have a great day.